Has your personality turned sour?
Some people attract others with their kind-hearted, genuinely happy, sincerely positive attitude. They spread cheer and exude an aura that naturally draws people in. Yet others repel people with horrible character and personality traits. According to Psychologium.com we are not born with these traits, but develop them as a result of the influence of family, friends, social circumstances and environment.
Here are 7 signs to be on the lookout for if you fear that your personality may be turning others away. It’s never too late to rescue yourself from having fallen into annoying behavior patterns!
1. The glass is always half-empty
Are people always telling you to cheer up? To look on the bright side of things? If all you can see is the negative side of things, you are living as a pessimist – and really, who wants to be around someone who is always anticipating the bad and focusing on the undesirable outcomes? Negative people and whiners tend to drain other people’s energy. Who wants to surround themselves with a positive energy vampire? Instead of complaining about how bad your life is, do something about it – something productive, not spouting toxicity that just poisons everyone else’s well. Odds are, you are not the only person facing tough circumstances or disgruntled in some way. The difference? The other people choose not to just spew about it. They do something positive and still wear a smile. Why? Because life is beautiful.
2. Holier than thou
Who wants to be patronized? Being condescending and superior is so absolutely annoying and distasteful that it is sure to send people running in the opposite direction when they see you. Treat people with respect, and as equals. Why or how are you better than them? Sometimes people are condescending without even realizing it. Maybe you are and you don’t even realize it. Listen to what those around you have to say about you, and do so with an open mind. Strive to be a better person. You might not be the person you think you are and it’s important to consider how others perceive you. Arrogance is a similar character flaw. Self-confidence is one thing, but being arrogant and self-centered is a major turn-off.
3. You are gossip central
If you are the source for all of the latest gossip, then the chances are that you are considered to be the shallow person collecting and spreading everyone’s “dirt.” That kind of person is not trusted or appreciated beyond anything short of a shallow surface layer. Who expects to have a meaningful relationship with someone who focuses exclusively on other people’s flaws? Odds are that most people probably feel that you are mean and/or pathetic, making yourself feel better by reveling in the shortcomings of others. A secure person whose self-esteem and self-confidence is intact would never feel the need to bring other people down or to emphasize on their flaws.
4. Always late and unreliable
Being consistently late is a passive-aggressive way of controlling a situation. It demonstrates the basic inability to consider other people. It is not decent behavior and can be extremely annoying. Sure, things happen and sometimes people are late. but habitual lateness exhibits a lack of consideration. It’s like telling the other person that they don’t matter, not them, not their time – only you and yours. On top of that, if you are unreliable, how can anyone put their faith or trust in you? It cannot all be about you, not to have a relationship with anyone.
5. Everything’s a competition
In conversations, I call those people “toppers.” You know the kind, whatever it is you’ve done or experienced, they (or someone they know) has done it just a little better – they “one up” you. You rode an elephant through the streets of New Delhi? They had an uncle who RAISED elephants, on a farm, in Istanbul. Being in a constant competition with your friends or your significant other is not only very annoying, but it is also an absolutely exhausting personality trait that people do not like to put up with. In fact, being in constant competition with people actually shows you to be an insecure person, and reflects negatively on you.
6. Selfish and temperamental
If you always put yourself first, how can you hope to build relationships that are meaningful? Good relationships require you to sometimes put the other person first. A relationship requires a mutual meeting somewhere in the middle, not always revolving around you. On top of that, if you get fired up in the middle of a debate and let your temper get the better of you, who is going to want to talk to you? A conversation should be based on mutual respect, not raising your voice to impose your opinion or point of view.
You would not want to put up with someone who always puts you down and neither do others. People don’t feel comfortable around offensive, ill-mannered people. Disrespecting others is a sure way to leave you alone. Ultimately, we live in a society where mutual respect and appreciation should be considered one of the pillars of modern life. To act otherwise is to drive everyone away.
It’s not easy to look in the mirror and accept the fact that maybe you’ve got some work to do, to admit your flaws. But honesty and commitment to change is what will make you a better person. So take a good, hard look. Recognize any of these traits? Are any of them just beginning to emerge? Has anyone made a comment that touches upon any of these 7 behaviors? It;s never too late to make changes. You owe it to yourself and to those people who are important to you.